The Latest and Loudest

On PZ Myers’ science blog, they are discussing a small town’s attempt to overturn a 30 year-old ban on Monty Python movie, The Life of Brian. One of the funniest movie’s ever made EVER. It’s on my (unfinished) top ten movie list and you have got to see it, if you haven’t. If you have, you should watch it again.

They say the movie is sacrilegious, but it just isn’t. It’s about a guy that get’s mistaken for the Messiah around the time of Jesus Christ. The opening scene has the Three Wise Men accidentally follow the Eastern Star to baby Brian’s manger rather than the manger of baby Jesus, next door. His mother orders them out until she learns they bear gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrhh, for the baby they seek.

Although she isn’t quite sure what “myrhh” is.

My uncle was born in Alabama, but lived a lot of his adult life in New Orleans.  He came to visit us several times in Chicago when I was very young, and he would always forget something–crazy-ass paperback novels, cassette tapes… pictures…  Anyway, I’ve decided that my eclectic musical tastes were heavily influenced by his leavings.  This is taken from a song on one of those tapes.

Black Water Hattie lived back in the swamp
Where the strange green reptiles crawl
Snakes hang thick from the cypress trees
Like sausage on a smokehouse wall

“Swamp Witch” by Jim Stafford

So with the baby coming, my wife and I knew that we (meaning she) wouldn’t be able to expend too much energy on our garden this year.

I came up with the idea that we would put out a mixed bag of wildflower seeds. They would give us variety and would attract butterflies and hummingbirds (and yes, I was surprised last year when a hummingbird showed up in my backyard in South Shore).

I put the seeds in pots and plots all over the yard, except in one are where my wife, Tamika, had planted gladiolus last year. They would come back.

It became quickly apparent that the wildflowers and the weeds were in a race to see which could grow the fastest. The problem was that I’d never seen them before, so I couldn’t tell what to…well, weed.

In the end, I kind of took a wait-and-see approach.

And what I see is a large yard full of ugly weeds, punctuated by the occasional beautiful purple, yellow, red, pink, or blue flower.

The seeds in the large pots did particularly well. My wife says that’s because she put fertilizer and high-grade potting soil in those pots last year. I say,”What does she know”?

But the gladiolus will save us. There are more than last year, and while only a white one has bloomed so far, there are at least 4 colors and they will transform our yard, probably just in time for our son’s arrival.

Starbucks is closing 600 stores nationwide. Is that a statement on the economy or just Starbucks over-expansion? More importantly, they are closing 16 stores in the Chicagoland area and 2 on the south side: One in the mall at 95th and Stony Island, that I’ve been to once, despite driving by there 3-4 times per week. And one in Beverly, on 95th and Western.

Sad.

But MY neighborhood Starbucks, at 71st and Stony Island, shall remain open for now.

Sweet.

Oh, and if you’re a smart businessperson looking to hire near any one of these stores, you’re trying to scoop up as many of these Starbucks-vetted and trained employees as you can.

A chrishendo is like a crescendo, only better, because in a chrishendo you get to hear me quote my favorite song lyrics.

In a crescendo, music you’re already listening to just gets louder.

Or some such.

Anyway, let’s get started.

“I watched television until television went off.” — Lenny Williams in ‘Cause I Love You”, explaining the kind of broken heart that just isn’t possible anymore. Technorati Tags: chrishendo lyrics

I didn’t know that Jack Handey, of “Deep Thoughts” fame, wrote longer pieces. In fact, for a long time, I didn’t even know he was a real person. This is hysterical.

My first day in Hell is drawing to a close. They don’t really have a sunset here, but the fires seem to dim a bit, and the screaming gets more subdued. Most of the demons are asleep now, their pointy tails curled up around them. They look so innocent, it’s hard to believe that just a few hours ago they were raping and torturing us.

Go to The New Yorker to read the rest of this.

And one of my favorite one liners: “Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.” LOL!

And I must concur.  But it is also pretty funny.

There are about 5,479,824 misleading, deceptive and/or disgraceful statements in this two-minute clip.  They actually say that it is a replica of a $20 bill to commemorate 9/11.  Because 9 and 11 add up to 20.

Get it?

Thanks for the heads up on this, Hysan.

Update: Wait! A selling point is that it is authorized by the Liberian Government?! What the hell difference does that make?

The poker gods have once again slapped me around like a rebellious child. Glad I’m not playing for money.

I’m going to bed…

But just let me say this! It is not right to deal me 6-4 offsuit so that I fold and then put quad 4’s on the board. And on the very next hand deal me A’s and allow a small set to crack them.

It is just. Not. Right.